Why am I always single while my friends are getting married and getting babies? Is the male female ratio playing games on me? Did the wife material finish before the tailor made me that maroon suit that is on my bucket list? Or did a dog (prolly a fisilet) chew you? Did Kang’ethe at choma place boil you for soup? Or were you used in those bone meal animal feeds.
Are you a traveller? You could have been on that missing Malaysian plane..Or were you bombed in Syria? Or were you by any chance a pig that was used in that Boniface Mwangi mpigs demonstration? Could you be in some archeological site that the Leakey’s did not discover just digging in the dirt?
Maybe, just maybe you are in one Las Vegas Casino gambling your time and my future fortune away. Or better yet in the US of A without documents and all you need is Trump to send you home.Are you in that Chang’aa base in central Kenya killing our future kids? Or are you hiding from this Nyeri woman worried that the transformer will be put on the chopping board?Maybe you are by Lake Victoria enjoying fresh fish if not in Bungoma dancing Isukuti.
By any chance could you be in Turkana? If you are there I will understand because probably you were swallowed by one a huge dry crack on the ground .Or you are just doing rounds looking for water in Kitui if not looking for a place to water your camels in North Eastern.
If you are with that fisilet be sure to work harder because you will have to show me you can provide for me and my kids.Enjoy while it lasts because when I find you,even a mere glance at a girl will have you on the couch for a month.Don’t even dream about optical nutrition (kukula kwa macho) because you will have me to deal with.
Your future wife.